Geocaching… What if it all ended tomorrow?
Once in a while, I get asked some very odd questions about our sport. A muggle asked me recently; “What would happen if geocaching was to get banned everywhere?” I could not initially give him a direct answer, but I have given it considerable thought since then. I have arrived at several scenarios thinking about it, only time will tell what would or could happen should our game get outlawed. So in today’s rant we are going to examine the fallout from “The Day the Geocachers Stood Still.”
First and foremost let’s not forget all the lost jobs at Groundspeak. Suddenly all those poor souls in Seattle are out pounding the pavement hoping that someone needs an expert on a no longer existing sport. Well, at least they all probably have a GPS to find new employers with. Don’t worry about all the reviewers all over the world, (none of them are paid anyway) they’ll be o.k. They can always take out a Craigs’ list add that reads ” Will do very little work, for no money.” I’m sure they will have all sorts of replies in no time.
Let us also think about the poor die hards in our sport whose lives seems to revolve around caching events, new cache notices, find counts, daily geocaching forum trolling, and touting themselves to be an expert. Do not fear people!!! The Bitchy Cacher is here for you !!! I am currently working on a 12 step program to gradually wean you off of your tupperware and film can addiction, I am not going to lie to you this will be painful, and may include some shock therapy and some serious meds. You WILL make it through, I guarantee it (or your money back.)
I imagine there would be a massive frenzy of players going out to find (and take) the last few geocaches left out there. Suddenly for a short time there will be find counts of recovered geocaches. Players with false hope will be gathering them up as one last shot at our sport, hoarding all those containers for the faint hope that one day the game will be reinstated, and they can run out the door haphazardly hiding camouflaged containers everywhere. Should you find yourselves sitting on dozens of useless containers years later don’t worry there will be a Bitchy Cachers “Geocachers Anonymous” meeting near you. complete with latitude and longitude directions for you to the location of the meeting. It will be at this point other members will take your old cache boxes from you and recycle them. (We call this step #1 at G.A.) forget about step #1 being admitting you have a problem. (we all know this already and are here for you)
There will always be alternatives to our sport, I imagine if our game does get banned, it will be because of the physical containers geocaching relies on. So there may be a big increase in players in games such as geo-dashing, geo-golf, geo-tagging, and virtual capture the flag type games. So if you thought you looked suspicious when you were geo caching, imagine how you are going to explain yourself when you get caught looking for nothing? And forget about Munzees, chances are if the public is tired of seeing us leave litter all over the place there is a very good chance they don’t want to see us tagging and leaving what basically is graffiti all over town either.
It will take all of us working together to help save our sport in the near future. I can imagine lawyers arguing for our side to reinstate the game in court…, “But your Honor…We are ALL eco- friendly players, Can we please have our ammo cans back?” “I am sorry” the judge will say ” You cannot guarantee in a user based sport all players will play responsibly, so, for those of you who wish to argue it further, I will sentence you to a 30 day stay at The Bitchy Cacher Ranch for recovering addicts, motion denied!!”
Now, why do we even need to explore this issue at all? Because if we don’t stop and take a look at what we are doing, we really do risk getting the sport banned everywhere. It is too bad that so many hours in legislation rooms all over the world have already decided where we can and cannot leave a plastic box. Certain municipal areas, parks and authorities on hi-ways have already banned the game in areas that they control. Could the rest of the areas we play in be far behind? Will some areas get the game banned and others have tons of geo-tourism as a result? Only time will tell. Geocache responsibly please, and enjoy it while you still can.