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The Bitchy Cacher Travel Bug Rant.

Winter is here, and Geocaching all over the land has slowed down to a
frozen icy crawl. Even the most die hard geocachers are home licking their
frostbitten wounds, loading up the GPS, dreaming of better days ahead.

My caching habits changed from “whenever I could” to “screw this, wait
for a better day.”  While taking a winter hiatus from our sport, the lazy days and nights of no caching came to an abrupt end when I received  a (slightly rude)
note from another geocacher concerning  their travel bug.

It would seem that I had been holding a travel bug far longer than “her most
royal majesty” would have liked. So I made a conscious effort to get the little
guy into another cache without further delay. I never corresponded back with
the complainer , just dropped it, and moved on with my normal winter time
sloth like life.

Apparently, just dropping it off wasn’t  good enough for “The Queen of
geocaching” as she contacted me again concerning the placement. “Why would
you put it in a difficult puzzle cache very few people have found?” she asked.
Once again she got no response from me. I have better things to do than debate
my choice of geocaches with her.

Like many coincidences in life it got me thinking… Why would anyone bother
to nag another geocacher concerning a 10 dollar trinket? It’s not like they
didn’t know what part of the world I was in, I am pretty sure they “creeped” my
profile on So what was the deal here? Did the attached plastic toy
contain the ashes of her dead husband whose dying wish was to have it travel the world? Was it made from diamonds? Was it in a million dollar prize race?
Did it cost a small fortune to buy it? No? Then what was the purpose for
provoking me to moving it on to a cache that meets with “her majesty’s”


So allow me to respond to “her majesty’s” correspondence in the only
way I know how (he, he).

“Dear Queen;
Suck it up, or become fodder for my blog. Oh, I see…, you have already
made your choice…”

Now, not to pick on “The Queen” too much here, as most of my readers can
attest to, everyone can relate to their own run ins with other “queen like”
cachers. But seriously, give a cacher a break here…it’s freezing outside!

I will never figure out why it is that some cachers become overly attached and
impatient about the travel tags and coins they own. Did they not realise
when they released it, that was going to be moved around by other players they
do not know personally? Did you think that YOUR bug was magical or special in
some way? Did you really think it did not have any chance of going missing
someday? Get real… There are only a few rare certainties in life, and one of
them is reality check # 1, “S#$% happens.”

So for all those cachers who can’t seem to stop obsessing over their little
aluminum tags worth 23 cents a piece, allow me to leave you with a few
guidelines for future ownership…

First off, What the $%^k did you release it for? You obviously care
whether or not it lives or dies, so why did you not just keep it when you had
the chance? Next time, do not release it. This is the only way to be
completely assured it never gets lost.
(Is it just me, or is this too obvious?)

Secondly, do not name it, or theme it with something too heartbreaking or
personal. The general public does not need to feel as though they ran over
your dog, or killed your Grandma if they accidentally lose a coin on a hike.
Awareness coins are fine, just don’t tell us some sob story in honor of a
fallen comrade and then make us feel like we pissed on a grave, when it goes
missing from one of our caches.

Thirdly, if you suffer from obsessive compulsive TB disorder, you may not be
in the right sport here. You do grasp the concept that you are dealing with
total strangers here, right? So when your bug doesn’t move immediately after
having been picked up try to have some patience, it is nothing to get your
royal knickers in a knot about.

Now, if you all will excuse me, I have a travel bug to retrieve, and a D5 T5 cache to find….
Carry on Cachin…



 It’s That Time of the Year Again,  Time for…. “A Bitchy Cacher Christmas”

Source: A Bitchy Cacher Christmas….

The Next Rant… Just because There isn’t a cache there , doesn’t mean there should be one.

I find myself lately staring at the map
on wishing there was some way to
permanently delete all the lousy caches from the face of the earth.

I have had more than my fair share of
exchanges with lousy cache owners and
reviewers lately. I find myself sitting
back and asking “When did common sense
and decency leave our sport?”

It all seemed to have started about a
month ago. My team and I headed out to
find some of those pesky puzzle caches
that have been solved and in my GPS for
a while now. After arriving at a
location the first thing I noticed right
away is the damage caused by geocachers
to the area. Yes, there was a
distinctive geo trail, but what really
got to me was the damage to the bushes
where the cache was hidden. It was a
lovely long hedge, well trimmed and
maintained except for a very large dead
patch on the end. It wasn’t hard to
figure out where it was hidden and it
did not take a genius to figure out the
damage was due to geocachers poking
around in it. I logged the cache that
night and sent the C.O. a friendly note
saying that if the cache could be moved
just 5 or so feet over to the tree, the
bush could recover from the damage
already done and renew itself.
I must say the last thing I was
expecting as response from the C.O. was
a flat out “No” but that is indeed what
I got. I was told the math wouldn’t
work out for the puzzle if it got moved
and he would have to change the hint as
well. All I could think of in my bitchy
little head was “You asshole!! God
forbid you should actually have to any
maintenence on your own #$%^ing cache!!”
I let it be, knowing full well I
probably won’t be the last cacher to let
him know this. I have had a watch on
this cache ever since, and indeed, I am
not the only one to tell him about the

Next came my run in with a reviewer,
I naively thought I would get more
common sense from someone trusted by
Groundspeak, but alas, still no joy.

I was on a bit of a road trip from
work checking the GPS along my route for
some quiet caches, when up popped a
graveyard cache on my radar. There was
no one in the cemetery that day, all was
quiet and I could search without
worrying about muggles or mourners
about. The co-rds seemed to lead me to
nothing within grabbing range so the
search expanded to several trees,
fences, and one bench. After giving up
on the obvious spots, I sat down to view
the hint, it indicated something floral
would have what I was looking for. I
stood up , let the compass count me down
to zero, and lo and behold I find myself
staring at a gravestone with a plastic
flowerpot in front. Could someone be
that disrespectful I thought ? Well,
yes, yes they can. There was the cache
directly sitting on top of a grave, with
several signatures in the logbook. I
chose not to log this one, instead of
leaving a log entry for it I contacted
the reviewer who had published this
cache only a few short months ago. I
thought surely they could not have known
when they published this it would be
desecrating a grave. Maybe I’m the first
cacher to find this who has common sense
enough to inform the reviewer. The response from the reviewer came quickly but it was not at all what I had expected. Instead of opening up a dialogue with the C.O. or archiving the cache, I was sent a pre-formed response on how this cache meets the guidelines at and blah, blah, blah. I must admit after reading the first lines of the response I did not care to read the rest. Obviously common sense is not a prerequisite for becoming a reviewer. I would like to believe that Groundspeak asks prospective reviewers more than just “Will you do it for free?” In its’ selection process, but history has shown me otherwise.

In ending this rant, just let it be known I will not stop reporting damage to property and disrespectful hides to Groundspeak and C.O.s just because it falls on deaf ears.

Maybe one day these players will get the idea, that just because there isn’t a cache at a certain location, it doesn’t mean there should be one.

Carry on Caching,







The Country Cacher and the City Cacher.

Summer is here once again and the caching has been fabulous. Our family vacation took us to some very remote areas of our land with some very wonderful local made caches.

The areas we had gone to were sometimes so remote that the caches we found only had few finders per year. There was no over saturation of caches like we’ve seen in urban areas. There was no geo junk, or places of little or no significance for hides. Sounds like utopia doesn’t it? Well, it was a real treat for us, but one couldn’t help but wonder what the locals would think of us city types and our urban caching habits.

So in today’s post the Country Cacher is going to take us geocaching with him, then we are taking him to the city to show him some of our very best caches.

After joining the local rural geocaching group online before our trip, I was befriended by a local who insisted when that when we get to his part of the world we would join him on a geo excursion in the area. Well, nothing could be better than to have a local show all the best places to go caching, so we gratefully agreed. We planned to meet at a specific cache location, it was a wonderful off the hi-way park with swings for kids, a babling brook, picnic tables, and the oh so important clean bathrooms for washing up. By the time our geo friend arrived we were already grateful for the spot he had chosen for our first cache. “This is only the tip of the iceberg” he said, “Wait till you see what’s were going to find next.” Off we flew in our respective geo mobiles, excited as to what might be around the next corner. The day could not have been better, over 100 miles traveled, 11 caches (not one micro) found and not a single DNF. We saw waterfalls, ghost towns, a natural water spring, an amazing rock formation, wild animals, livestock, historic locations, unknown beaches, and many had areas with amazing views. After thanking our host with a nice dinner at a wonderful place of his choosing we parted ways with a heartfelt thank you and a promise to reciprocate when he gets to the big city. We headed for home still in awe of all we had seen that day.

So as reciprocation goes, Country Cacher arrives in our town and is eager to find our favorite caches here in the big city. We tried very hard to pick caches with significance for our geo friend to find, (this was not easy) I realized we could not show him what he had shown us but we were going to try to make his day as worthwhile as we could. The caches we chose had many favorite points and pretty locales, but he had his sights set on other caches he had found on We had to explain to him that there were a lot of caches in our area not worth finding, but he insisted, so off we went to the caches of his choosing. Pulling up in a strip mall parking lot, our friend got a little confused, “Why is there a cache here?” he said “Must be a special hide!” We knew better, but he was our guest, so we let him poke around while we sat in the car. When our friend couldn’t find it, we offered to help. I pointed out the lamp post skirt, then lifted it up to reveal the cache. “Oh, that’s clever!” he said. (is it possible there we have found the only cacher out there that has never seen a LPC?) After showing him other types of urban caches fo the rest of the day , he seemed unimpressed by even some of our favorites. “Don’t people place caches in nice areas here? Don’t people leave swag?” he asked. “Not always” we told him “sometimes people place one just for the sake of placing one” his look was confused but we did not elaborate. Our day with our friend ended with a visit to the travel bug hotel near the airport so he could have some travelers to take home with him. Sadly it also was disappointing, the TBs listed in the cache were not there for the finding and the cache was strewn about the GZ and broken. We went our separate ways, vowing to keep in touch through facebook and geocaching adventure stories.

So our story ends here, the only difference in our story is unlike the old tale of “The Country mouse and the City Mouse” We would gladly change places with our friend if we could. (although we know he wouldn’t trade with us) He only seemed impressed by the sheer volume of geocaches in the city not the quality of them. Well friend, we would gladly give up all 5000 of our crappy urban caches just to find a few by you and some of your rural friends. You’ve got it good without even realizing what you have. I will pray it always stays that way so we can visit you again. We have discovered the most important thing of all, sometimes the best thing you find is a gracious new friend.

Carry on Caching…

A Bitchy Cacher Retrospective…Muggles, Haters, and Cops, Oh my.

After a short hiatus from caching I am back at it full tilt. In my little corner of the world winter was extremely brutal and only the most die hards went out caching. My find count was down to one a month and that was fine with me and mine, “better days ahead” we always say. My blog however never slowed down, with better view counts than I have ever seen before. Caching as it would seem, is no longer the super secret society thing it was when we all started out years ago. Today we are going to run down all the changes in our sport, and ask the question; “Is this a good thing or no?”

Remember the good ol’ days when you actually needed a GPS to find a geocache? No more, now any idiot with a smartphone can do it. So it might take them a little longer for them find one, and when these players hide one it is almost never waterproof and the co-ords are almost always off by a mile. Never mind that it is usually these “fly-by-night” types that are responsible for crappy geo-junk all over town. There is a good chance they will give up on it after a short time and there will be other idiots to take their place, (and their crappy hiding spots)

Remember when you had to pay Groundspeak to do paperless caching? No more, now any idiot with a smartphone app can do this. Notice how log entries have gone from a nice written paragraph from a cacher you are familar with, to now it is a “TFTC” tapped from a smartphone from someone with 4 finds you,ve never heard of before? I would almost relish a snide remark from the local “Mr. Know-it-all” in my area rather than just have an acronym or a quick “found it!” log from the generation of texters now joining our sport.

Remember when the muggles were something you avoided like the plague? Now because of the increasing popularity in our sport it’s not such a secret thing anymore. I have had muggles walk right up to me while caching, to tell me where the cache is hidden. I must say it’s not that I don’t appreciate their help, it is that I didn’t ask for it. The “cloak and dagger” aspect of this game was always part of the fun, and now sadly, that’s gone too.

Remember when a geocaching hater was just some troll on the internet? Not anymore, the “anti-geocachers” of this world have become more organized and have actual followers now. I have been trolled by these people before, and almost daily someone looking for a “I hate geocachers” page finds my blog and leaves a comment (comment was blocked by me of course). If they think I am going to help them spread their hatred they are out of their @#$%ing mind. I am never going to comment on an anti caching website so stop asking, and if they think I’m on their side, then they haven’t read my whole blog have they?

Remember when you had to explain yourself to the cops and produce I.D. to them? Not anymore, the police are now educated on our sport, and in one case I heard of on Facebook if they’re called out to a geo location they will actually help you look for it instead of arresting you for suspicious behavior. Too bad, I must say I really enjoyed the frisking “pat down” from the cop who reminded me of Patrick Swayze. No more cheap feels, (sigh) and when the bomb squad shows up they now bring a GPS and steal our swag instead of blowing it up.

Is our sport growing faster than we can keep up with it? Probably, but the temporary phone cachers will come and go. The muggles will learn to leave us alone. The haters will keep hating, and the cops will keep frisking (thank the gods) and the urban geo junk will continue. May I take this opportunity to remind readers to report risky hides to the authorities, and not to leave find logs on caches not worthy of one. The game will change whether we want it to or not, it is how we respond to it that will determine the future of geocaching.

Carry on caching,

Dear Bitchy Cacher… Leaving a Found Log for a Crappy Cache. (Guest Blogger)


Once in a while I like to let my readers have their say, as it turns out, some players in our game have as much to bitch about as I do. A reader who calls himself “Supremely Fat” has written their own rant on the fine art of writing a sarcstic log for caches that just were not worth the time or the effort of the finding. Enjoy!

“The Art of the Short Log on a crappy cache: A Glossary of the Hidden Meanings”– By Supremely Fat
I love writing logs. Let me clarify a little: I love writing logs when the words just seem to flow naturally. The best logs of mine begin in my mind while I’m finding the cache, and the details get filled in when I go home and type them up. Writing logs is easy when you have a memorable experience.

However, many caches I find are average at best, if not poorly conceived. Sometimes the words for these logs flow naturally as well, but unfortunately those words are often unfit for print. So the unremarkable cache ends up getting a short log, usually composed of my favorite stock phrases. Without further ado, I present…

The Art of the Short Log on a crappy cache: A Glossary of the Hidden Meanings

“A little worried”
1. The cache really blended in well with the poison ivy.
2. I was so close to the neighbors’ house I could watch their TV.
3. Seriously, why would you put a cache this close to a police station?
I was a little worried when I saw GZ, thankfully I found it right away.

Your soda can cache only blends in because the rest of GZ is covered with litter too
Well-camo’d container. I’ve seen this before, so I knew just where to look.

“Didn’t feel good” (for use with Notes and DNFs)
I briefly considered looking for this cache, but upon further review decided not to because it looks like dogshit. Which is saying something, because I’ve found caches that literally resemble dogshit and they are much better than yours could possibly be.
Passed by here, but didn’t feel good about the no trespassing signs and decided to move on.

“Don’t think anyone saw me”
1. I think someone saw me
2. I know someone saw me
Lots of muggles out today. Took me a minute, but I don’t think anyone saw me.

“Filling in a calendar day”
This is a crappy cache close to my home location, and while I’m grateful it saved my calendar challenge/streak, I was really hoping it would get archived before I had to resort to finding it.
Had to fill a calendar day, so I stopped here on my way home from work. Quick find.

“Found on my way to/from”
This cache is on the trail leading to a much better cache, and I needed a couple more finds so I could accrue my next favorite point for it.
Found on my way to Amazing Puzzle Cache.

“Glad I found this in the winter”
This cache would have sucked in the summer.
Pretty easy to spot with all the prickers dead, glad I found this in the winter.

“I was in the area”
1. Your cache is slightly more interesting than watching my girlfriend go shopping/waiting for my takeout order to be ready/staking out a dryer at the laundromat…
2. I got pretty drunk after going to the bar/concert downtown and had to sober up a little before driving home, so I went geocaching.
I was in the area tonight and I had to walk right past GZ.

“Knew just where to look”
1. I picked up the lamppost skirt.
2. I reached into the guardrail.
Got within 40 feet, and then I knew just where to look.
see also: didn’t need my GPS

“Needs some attention”
Needs archived, even though it technically meets the guidelines. I really hope you slack on the maintenance or just give up on it.
Easy find, but needs some attention. Everything is a little wet.

“Only had a little daylight” (for use with DNFs)
I’m pissed that I couldn’t find this, and I need an excuse other than my own incompetence.
Only had a little daylight to work with, and my battery was about to give out. I’ll be back.
see also: GPS/phone battery died, you can’t fire me, I quit

“Quick find” (NOTE: this is my personal favorite passive-aggressive log phrase)
The container and placement are identical to approximately 100 other caches you’ve placed.
Quick find in the park this afternoon.
see also: easy find

“Seen this before”
You are not the first person to hang a bison in a storm drain/put a nano in a piece of fake poo/stick a pvc pipe in the ground near a creek. The novelty is wearing off on me, for better or worse.
Could be a tough find, but I’ve seen this type before so it didn’t take me too long.

“TFTC” (Only use in extreme circumstances)
1. I remember nothing about this cache.
2. If I could say less, I would, but I’m not allowed to leave a blank log.

Now that I’ve found the cache, I will never return to this crap location again. Unless someone puts another cache here.
I was a little worried about the location, but thankfully I made the find in about 4 minutes.

Thanks for your entry “Supremely fat”
All opinions and additions to this rant are welcome in the comments section.
Carry on Cachin’

A Bitchy Cacher Christmas….


Twas the eve before christmas,
just at the start of the night,
a young cacher was stirring,
turning on a flashlight.

His GPS was hung by the door on
its perch, in hopes that
tonight would be a great time
for a search.

The other cachers were nestled
all snug in their beds, with
dreams of big find counts
dancing round in their heads.

The young cacher donned mitts,
coat and a cap, while other
cachers settled in for their
pre-Christmas nap.

Out on the cold trails the lone
cacher heard chatter, he turned
down the path to see what was
the matter.

Backtracking his trail, he flew
like a flash, jumping a
creekbed without making a

With the moon shining down on
the new fallen snow, He
discovered a man, dressed in red
head to toe.

“Santa?” he thought, “does he
really exsist? But wait…,
where’s the reindeer…

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